"We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. Maybe one day years from now, we’ll meet in a coffee shop in a far away city somewhere and we could give it another shot".
introducing: tumblr users being smooth as fuck
not too shabby!
I haven’t really documented my pregnancy like I had hoped. I blame the fact that the entire first 30 weeks were insanely busy. Regardless of that, I’m going to make a post about my pregnancy thus far.
Right from the get go, I was stressed. Stressed because I lived an hour and a half away from my doctor/family/Cody, because I worked an hour in the opposite direction, and alas, my pregnancy was very “high risk” from the start.
Thankfully, I was blessed with a rather “easy” first trimester. Aside from weekly ultrasounds and doctor’s appointments, I had ZERO morning sickness or fatigue. I felt great! Knowing how risky my situation was, I found it was best to keep my spirits and attitude high. I found an amazing house in Clio and Cody and I took the leap and quickly moved in together just in time to welcome our second trimester.
Things kept rolling after that… I transferred to a location that was 30 minutes closer to me than my last location at work. Life with Cody was becoming more and more exciting.
My only complaint about my pregnancy is that my job was not very tolerable of my situation. I repeatedly asked to be transferred to closer locations as it wasn’t ideal to still work an hour away from home being so high risk. I was also the only full-time employee in a store where there are supposed to be 3 full-timers at all times. So needless to say, I was very stressed and had high expectations placed on me to run a store and staff it, as well as train all staff right before the busy holiday season. This was also expected without giving me a promotion, a raise, or extra time to do so. I love my job and I am happy to rise up and take on such challenges, however, I wasn’t just looking out for my own health anymore. Sure, I used to work 30 hour days (if that’s possible…) twice a week, travel stores to train, etc. But when I have my unborn child on the brink of miscarrying at a 60% chance, I’m not going to slave myself at work. Needless to say, they never transferred me, never gave me any time to train, never gave me help during major store moves, etc. This caused such stress and strain on my body that I ended up going into the hospital due to signs of pre-term labor (at 26 weeks!) after carrying a 30 pound box of shipment to the back room and hitting the corner of a table onto my stomach because there was nobody there to help me and this was “expected of me” because I am a manager. I was put on maternity leave 2 weeks later. 5 days before Black Friday. See ya. Fuck ya later. (On the flip side, I am really excited to go back! I love working… just hated the stress.)
Anyways, work aside, the pregnancy kept progressing positively besides a couple of speed bumps. I was dealing with cervical incompetency and was on the verge of having to get a cervical stitch to keep her in there. Gross, but very scary. This scare lasted a few weeks, but miraculously enough, my cervix grew and became stronger. This threw the doctors off, as this never happens. :) I graduated from being “high risk” and went on my happy way. I was also promised I would have a C-Section, or at least a 95% chance of one… but, as my baby girl likes to do, she threw the doctor’s off once again by cooperating correctly. Instead of being breech, she is head down/ face down and ready to rock! I was actually looking forward to the convenience of a planned C-Section, no mess “down there”… but I’m okay with the idea of having a natural birth. Anything as long as my little lady is healthy! Another thing the doctors didn’t bet on was how far I’d make it. They were just hoping I’d make it to 30 weeks… they are THRILLED I’m pushing 37! They really don’t think it will be much longer, though.
As of my last appointment, I am dilated (just 1 CM) and have a “very soft” cervix. I already lost my mucus plug and I have been having increasingly intense contractions over the last few days. All signs point to labor happening soon! We shall see. Bags are packed and we are ready!
I will get anxiety at the fact that she won’t be in my stomach anymore, though. I hate the kicks, I hate the hiccups, but I love the comfort of knowing she’s safe in there.
I will not miss: 3rd trimester morning sickness, heartburn, waddling, emotional breakdowns…. daily. People touching my stomach, people asking, “when are you due?” “what are you having?” “is this your first?” “are you excited?” “will you breastfeed?” Insomnia, the feeling that I was kicked in the vagina 100% of the day….
Oh, and something that happened that nobody told me would happen:
The onslaught of girls asking me the “tricks” of getting pregnant.
Are you kidding me? Go have sex. Unprotected. Lots…
Thanks to Facebook, I stumbled upon this condescending rant written by some 22 year old “TOO COOL TO CONFORM” chick. Basically saying that getting married and having babies is a “lame trend” and that women should do other things, like #10 “CUT YOUR HAIR” instead. Okay, the list is pretty stupid and the bottom line she is probably trying to get across is that we need to do things before we get married. So… alright. I’m going to go ahead and agree that yes, divorce rates are high. Yes, times are different and while women were shunned for not being married or have kids by the time they were 20 a mere 50 years ago, it’s completely opposite now. I just can’t agree that women should be frowned upon for wanting to build a life with someone because they haven’t backpacked across Europe yet, or because of what number their age is. I’m sorry, but I’ll never be able to afford to backpack across Europe. Not saying I don’t want to travel, but I’m actually quite infatuated with the idea of waking up every morning with the same person to tell my dreams to, talk to, and learn with.
So I am taking on this Marriage Genius’s list to size up whether or not I am ready to be married. As it turns out, there are just a few things I haven’t done. Like start a band? Not really my groove, however, I am an excellent singer in my shower. Start a small business? No, I am too poor to afford the YEARS and YEARS of schooling to achieve starting a small business, HOWEVER, I have been a successful manager in my company since 2010. I even ran my own store with a 17% comp while other stores were -10% on the year. (Sorry, nerding out because I am PROUD of what I have achieved.) I have not joined the Peace Corps, but I have an application that was started and never finished because after much thought, I decided to stay home with the people I love. I don’t know what “GIRLS” is, but no, I haven’t watched it over and over again. I have, however, watched The Golden Girls over and over again. (And not to toot my own horn, but got my fiance hooked on it, as well.) While I haven’t finished an entire jar of Nutella in one sitting, I have finished an entire box of Frosted Flakes in one sitting. I haven’t joined a crossfit class, but I have gone to the gym once. And lastly, I will not join this bitch in the Philippines for the Chinese New Year, however, I will join my fiance wherever WE want to go.
So, if not eating an entire jar of Nutella is going to disqualify me from getting married because this 22 year old says so, then whoops… I fucked up. Because getting married will crush ALL dreams of sitting around eating Nutella, watching “GIRLS”, and cutting my hair.
1. Get a passport.
2. Find your “thing.”
3. Make out with a stranger.
4. Adopt a pet.
5. Start a band.
6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too.
7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage.
8. Explore a new religion.
9. Start a small business.
10.Cut your hair.
11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face.
12. Build something with your hands.
13. Accomplish a Pinterest project.
14. Join the Peace Corps.
15. Disappoint your parents.
16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again.
17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting.
18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places.
19. Sign up for CrossFit.
20. Hangout naked in front of a window.
21. Write your feelings down in a blog.
22. Be selfish.
23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year.
Whoever has anything to say about me being “lazy” or “taking advantage of maternity leave” can STFU.
Oh, you got pregnant while working part-time and can’t afford to take time off? Sorry about your luck. But for you to judge me because I’m taking a much needed break from work, THAT is something I’m NOT sorry about.
It’s not my fault that I worked my ass off for a job that gives me a nice PAID maternity leave. It’s crazy to think that someone who works hard and gets everything she has by EARNING it can actually have a maternity leave without feeling guilty.
Who gives a fuck if I sit on my fat ass all day watching TV and stuffing my face with donuts? Did I mention I’m getting paid to do that?
So judge me. Whatever, I’ve earned this. I will not feel sorry for enjoying a perk that I’ve paid into for 7 years.
|—||Jonathan Safran Foer (via quote-book)|
why can’t my closet look like this?
Unf this is like porn
I’m going to make this happen.